Through out my adventure, process or journey so to speak I have had quite a few road blocks but they have all come with good intent. To teach me a lesson or to show me the way or to push me or guide me. I used to see these as blocks but now I see them for what they are and I do this frequently. Instead of getting terribly upset by not getting what I thought I wanted or needed I have seen this as a sign as it wasn't meant to be or the timing was off or that I needed to dig deeper etc. I actually love this because I find I am not as upset as I used to be. I can see it for the lesson. I will share with you what happened to me this last week. I will add that I started writing this blog two weeks ago and could not find the words but today they are here and free flowing.
So there are two things that have not happened like I had wanted them too over this last week and I will start with the most prominent. So I have been tossing up for a long time now whether I cut back some days at my current full time position. I kept putting it off and putting it off because I was scared shitless to say the least. I am safe and secure with my job so I didn't want to take the plunge. I will say that the passion for my full time gig isn't what it used to be and that isn't only because I am so passionate about what I do on the side, ( My Health Wellness and Mindset Business) but there are so many regulations and ticking of the box instead of just teaching, and guiding the children. It is more like I am a referee. ( I am an Early Childhood Educator)
Anyway I had put it off for a very long time and when I finally decided that it was probably time to get out of my comfort zone and free some time up for my Mindset clients I wrote up my letter and sent it in and felt scared but excited. Today I was asked to come in for a meeting with one of our bosses to discuss my application. I found out that they had rejected it. It was rejected because usually they only let people cut back when they have family issues or they are on their way to retirement. So that was that. Now my options are to leave or stay. I felt sad but not too sad because I knew there was a reason for this happening. It was either not the right time or it was the universe giving me a bigger shove. So what do I do? At this moment in time I will sit with it and ponder and process my choices, I am on holidays so it is a great time to get clear about a few things.
The other thing that happened was I had applied for a Freelance columnist position and I was sure that it was for me. That the job was mine. As time went on ( he did publish my content, and pay me) he received more applications and content. So he said it was very hard to decide who he was going to put on. He then asked me if instead of contributing once a week, if I would do it once a month. Of course. Was I upset, at first when I had the feeling that I was not going to get it because he hadn't really gotten back to me, but then I realised it relieved the pressure to get something out each week and left me with time to write really good pieces instead of quickly getting something together. I believe that all of what happens is for a reason and there to guide you to the right path. You may make mistakes, take the wrong route but if you trust you will always come back to what is meant for you. Did I cry about the rejection of not getting to cut back my days, yes but that is part of the process too. I understand there is a lesson to be learned or to guide me but it was also ok to feel emotional about it and let down. So once I process I will make a plan because I am not letting my Health business slide. It is my soul passion. My absolute joy. So that is what I suppose I will ask for guidance with and really trust that I will make the best decision.
Just Trust and it will all work out.