How 2020 has cracked me open

Okay, so who else is feeling that 2020 has been the year of being cracked open to the core.

If it wasn't just Covid now it is all that is happening in the US too.

See I came into 2020 with fresh eyes, bushy tail and was ready to create the business that I am running into a smart business. I had all these grand plans on how I was now going to work smarter as I had been actually putting a lot of unnecessary money into things that were not working so well. I had plans and then those plans were put on hold.

Lucky for me I have a business that is also and online platform so it only affected me a little, by not being able to do my dance classes and hands on reiki session.

At the end of last year if you follow me on social media you would have seen that I really felt the call to LISTEN. Listen was going to be my word for 2020. Well didn't I get the chance to do just that.

See during this time I have been cracked open in many ways. But I want to share with you 3 of them.

1. The first thing that has come from this for me is just the way we have been living our lives. That there are lots of unnecessary pressures we put on ourselves. Lots of going through the motions because I felt I had to or that I should. I laid a lot of that to rest. I tend to over complicate things. I try to add too much or try everything to find the right thing. And do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong with taking action, getting your hands dirty and trying new things. But there is a limit and why should I put the extra pressure on my which then is on my husband, my family, when it is not needed. I started to take stock of what makes me happy, the things I love to do over the things I don't so much love to do, and if it wasn't something that was necessary then ta ta......

2. That this is bigger than just a virus.

Also if you follow me you will know my thoughts on this. I feel that we have been sent something to crack us open. To make us take a back seat and just tune in. We have been given nothing but time to be home, to be with our children, except for those essential workers, who thank god are here but it also made us appreciate them in a new way. Yes with it has come tragedy, has come death and loss of jobs and people who are fearful of where their next meal will come from and in no way shape or form do I take away from their pain. I think we have been given message after message, sign after sign and we as a collective have not taken any notice. We as a collective are killing our beautiful mother Earth. We are busy and greedy and consumed and I think that a bigger force than us has tried to wake us up.

Here I was thinking yes this is going to help change us. Myself included. This is going to have us seeing our lives in a different way. Taking stock of what each of us value and what makes sense to us as individuals and for our families. That we now will do what is in our own best interest not trying to keep up with the Joneses. Making our own rules. Leaving judgement behind us.

3. And then George Floyd is murdered by a police officer who kneels on his neck while he cries I can't breathe I can't breathe and I am rocked, I am devastated, I am in tears and have no idea what to do. As I write this I am in tears because here I am a white women sitting in her lounge room watching this horrific act unfold in front of my eyes and I said out loud. Oh god I can't watch that it is too upsetting. I closed my phone and cried. As I sat there I thought you know what that is precisely the problem. I can turn off the video, I can shut off my phone because I get emotional but what about those POC who every single second of the day are not sure if they will be accused of something that they did not do. Will be killed if they leave their home and let me tell you I am not only talking about people in the United States. Here in Australia it is happening all the time. David Dungay Jnr died in very similar circumstances also telling the officers that held him down that he couldn't breathe. We are not seeing it and if we do we turn our gaze. So the third lesson I have learned is that I no longer turn my gaze. I educate myself on our history. On how I can support POC in ways that are helpful because I have NO idea. I have never been taught but now that is up to me to learn, read, ask and to take action. NO longer be scared of saying the wrong thing. Be open to being educated.

So 2020 it is only June and I tell you I am exhausted but I am ready. I am ready for there to be a new way. A way where we embrace all cultures and POC. That we have unity. Where we treat our mother earth with loving kindness. Where we become more empathetic, we judge less, we do more of what we love and we are kind. To ourselves and to each other.

Erin xx

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