Mama you don’t have to carry the load on your own.
Overwhelm. Who has been there? Hmmm I think that most of you have been there at one time or another. There is washing to do, the kids uniforms aren’t done, the washing up is all over the sink, what are we going to have for dinner, I have to cook dinner, Hubby needs lunch packed for tomorrow get the kids bathed, take out the rubbish, feed the animals and who is going to run the kids to sport, music, dancing and so on and so on.
This is a constant I know for a lot of people those who are single mothers or fathers and those of us who are in relationships also and I will go out on a limb here and say mothers. It is really hard not to get too caught up in the overwhelm of it all and the feeling that we are doing it all by ourselves.
One thing I know that I did and still do is I didn’t ask for help. I just assumed no one would help me. I thought if I did it, it would be done quicker, it would be done properly and it would get done then and there not “In a minute” or “when I am finished this game” I just assumed my husband wouldn’t help me and when I asked in the tone of a maniac I’m not sure it was as well received as if I had asked from a kinder place and just asked him if he could please help me out so that I could sit and spend time with him.
A lot of my problem when my kids were a lot younger was just this. I begrudged him and the kids because I had to DO IT ALL. When in fact if I had sat down and asked them in a nice way and explained that they didn’t have to see this devil woman every day if they just did something small to help me. And yes, it is good in theory but it may have worked on occasion instead of me having a break down around dinner time EVERY NIGHT.
Another thing is and I hope not to offend anyone but I’m sure you ladies understand what I am saying. Men don’t see mess. They don’t see the crap all over the floor, they don’t see the bin spilling its contents out all over the place and I have no fucking idea why they don’t see and empty toilet roll either but they just don’t. I think they are hard wired that way. Those things are totally invisible until their mother is coming over and they seem to see all of it then. I am so glad my hubby doesn’t read my blogs or listen to my podcasts I am not sure he will agree.
You can check out my podcast on this topic here